You started it all
I am having a very good “free food” week. As in, I have received much food, for no money. However, the only drawback to this, is that it has been purely chocolate, and I have not had the restraint to stop myself from EATING IT ALL.
Normally, I’m pretty good with eating. I guess I have my own sort of 5:2 diet (5 days of eating well, 2 days of having a bit of a pig-out with booze and pizza, but nothing too much to excess). On some weeks, it’s more of a 4:3. However, this week I have been inundated with chocolate, so it looks more like a 0:7 (or a 1:6 if I’m feeling generous).My problem is, I’m not very good at putting it aside for a rainy day. I’m very good at putting it in my mouth. And consequently it goes down into my digestive tract, and what little nutrients and a lot of fat are absorbed and deposited in all the wrong places on my body. Hence why I don’t buy chocolate for myself. When it gets given to me though, well, that’s another story.
Let’s start off on Sunday… I went on a 11 mile run, came back and have a nap, and then woke up craving chocolate. However, there was no chocolate to be found, so there was nothing I could do about it. So I just ate an apple instead and forgot about it.
However, on Monday… won a free bar of chocolate for knowing more about the kidneys than anyone else did in the class. I’m not talking about your standard Mars or snickers bar, but one of those Cadburys bubbly bars that contain 480kcal. “Well,” I thought to myself, “I was craving chocolate yesterday, and I still probably haven’t made up the calories from the run that I did, so what the hell?” I ate it in a couple of sittings throughout the day, only feeling a little bit bad about it.
However, on Wednesday, a very nice lady knocked on my door and gave me a box of chocolates to share with everyone in the house. They were like the Guylian chocolates, but a knock-off version which tasted pretty much exactly the same. I have a soft spot for Guylian or anything that is seashell shaped and tastes just like the real thing. (The seahorse ones are my favourite) So, over the next couple of days, I found myself thinking about the box of chocolates in the kitchen a little too much to be considered healthy, and kept picking at them until they were all gone. Of course my housemates helped, but I must have eaten at least half of the box. Now that’s pretty bad.
I was sad enough to calculate the additional kcal consumed by myself, through that period of a couple of days. It turned out to be 658. Oops.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m by no means a calorie counter. This blog post is not an accurate representation of what I do on a day-to-day basis. However, when you’re eating foods that have calories on the side, presented to you in such a lovely way with bubbles and numbers etc. you can’t help but notice them. I normally eat a metric shit-tonne of vegetables on a daily basis, and don’t normally count the calories because there is very little to actually count! However, when it comes to the highly calorific chocolatey beast, I just can’t help myself but look in horror at what I am about to consume.
My lovely horse
Anyway, back to Friday. Today. Guylian-esque chocolates all gone. I am free. I think.
I have prepared myself both physically and mentally for a slap-up meal for my Grandad’s birthday, followed by hot chocolate fudge cake for dessert. With extra chocolate sauce. Brilliant. What I had not prepared for, however, was one of the belated Christmas presents from my family (yes, I know that it is near the end of February) being a chocolate orange. With popping candy. I am grateful, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t need this in my life right now. The most chocolate I normally consume on a daily basis is the amount that you find coating a couple of jaffa cakes, not a block of solidified chocolatey deliciousness.
I had a super-light noodle stir fry for dinner to compensate for the gluttony at luncheon, but when I return to my room, all I can hear is my chocolate orange calling out to me. I’ve already succumbed to 3 4 pieces. I would normally go for a run to undo some of the damage, however I am hard-pressed for free time until Sunday’s long run.
For now, I’m just going to have to hide it in the bathroom, or some other place equally unusual, until I forget about it and can gorge upon it on another rainy day.
There is actually not very much chocolate on them
I can already feel my lunch settling upon my thighs
What is my life.
Little ado about everything 